Who is this band, and why won't they go away and leave me alone?
No....actually, it's really wierd....you see Phillip was experimenting
with a cloning device that he had invented whilst watching an old cartoon video of Star-Trek,
just a couple of months ago, as it was winter and there was very little to do except
act like all the other stupid Americans, and go snowmobiling, or something
equally dumb...Anyway....where was I?!....Oh yes, so then there he was....putting the finishing
touches to his new machine....when kaboom! and there was blue smoke everywhere....well it was more like
a kind of lilac, or maybe almost mauve or maybe even....Get on with the bluddy story!!
Oh sorry....it's just that I get a bit carried away sometimes with all the exitement and such....
OK....now what was I going to say next??.....Hmm!
Right then ....so as the smoke cleared....did I mention that there was smoke? well there was,
and it was the sort of foggy stuff that Americans think happens in England in the old war films...
Although as you know...most of them have never even been there, so how do they know?!
I lived in England, all my life and very rarely ever saw any fog, let alone the stuff they show on TV.
Of course riding in the old Jag, between Calne and Chippenham a few times in the early hours,
I must confees to have been in a couple of pea soupers, but very rarely...and they have...(ARRRGHH!!!)
Sorry....sorry, now let's see....ah yes the machine....Anyway, as the smoke began to clear....
I noticed that the kettle was boiling away, furiously, which was very strange,
because I did not remember at that time whether I had actualy put the kettle on the stove or not,
or even if I had indeed ignited the gas under the kettle...this was very troubling...
So I decided there and then, for the sake of all humanity, to take a break and have a cup of tea, and try not
to embroil myself in any further existentialistic arguments, as to the nature of why kettles seem to be boiling by themselves.
Then suddenly, it hit me like a flash...I
had been going about this thing all wrong.
This whole experiment, had hinged on the negative precept,
that I had not actually put the kettle on the stove, or lit it!
And...did it really matter?!
It was then that I realised, that I was missing an even more important issue, than kettles on stove's..
The burning question still remained....Who filled it with water, and where did they get the water??!!!
Then there was that awful noise, that seemed to come from the pit of Hell!
I slowly turned round, my pulse racing, as my heart was surging blood to every part of my body
...well, not every part, I mean what do nails need with blood flow, I mean they are somewhat dead aren't they?!
Anyway, I slowly turned around, prepared for the worse. What could it be that was making that unearthly screaming noise? and why did it choose this moment to explode in a cacophany of blah, blah..what-ever?
Oh yeah....the Kettle was boiling!
To be continued.... (If he bluddy lives!)
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